...the internal chaos I suffer in my mind all day every day. Yep, the whole nine yards: therapy, medication, panic attacks, drastic decisions, break downs, etc. Sure, some days are better than others, and some years are better than others, but I will carry this susceptibility to anxiety with me my whole life.
I am a diagnosed "Pure Obsessional" OCD sufferer. I have been for most of my life. After finally being properly diagnosed at 19 years old, I was able to see how long I had been living with this disorder and could recognize the impact it has had in various parts of my life. for me, it flares up in times of change. In need of a coping mechanism for dealing with these changes, I subconsciously adopted the unique "spike and compulsive reassurance" ritual of a Pure-O. Unlike classic OCD symptoms which can be seen, i.e. tapping, cleaning, organizing, etc, a Pure-O's compulsions take place completely in the mind. I don't have the energy or eloquence to fully explain the details of what a Pure-O goes through, but if you'd like to read more or know someone who might be an undiagnosed Pure-O, please check out this website. It provides an adequate understanding of Pure-O OCD and, also, offers an interactive forum and supportive community of fellow Pure-Os.
For the most part, I'm good now. I've been through so much therapy, self-awareness, and many experiences over the years that have helped prepare me on how to deal with my disorder. I do feel called to reach out to those who may be suffering from the incapacitating Pure-O "spikes and compulsions" and want to offer emotional support to those living in this extremely lonely, and often shameful, world. Please do not hesitate to ask me any questions concerning Pure-O OCD should you have any.
This pic offers a brief glimpse into a Pure-O's mind. Know the "thought" is one so obscene and so uncharacteristic of your natural self, but your mind is tricking you into believing it. Then starts the mental compulsion ritual...
Mental/Emotional disorders are very real and can be very dangerous. Don't let this silent stalker bully you or a loved one...
Wishing you mental peace,
CC
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing this part of you. It is very personal but as a fellow "crazy" it is totally easy to relate to. Many people just lack the ability to admit they may need some help but maybe seeing that getting help and support can actually change their life they will feel stronger about making a change. You are a good example of all of this :) keep up the good work CC
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