Facebook addict and NOT going to lie about it...like 90% of human kind does

"She/he's on Facebook all the time!  She/he obviously has no life...is so narcissistic...is so insecure..."  You hear this all the time come up in conversation.  At first, I'd go with the flow of the conversation like most anyone naturally would, but then the topic started to rub me the wrong way.  Hey, wait, how do you know someone's on FB all the time if you, the accuser, aren't on there a comparable amount of time in order to see the "proof" of that person being on there all the time?  And, why the hell does it matter if they are?!

Sure, it's annoying when someone checks-in at every place they visit during the day, or when they tell us about every gym workout, food eaten, baby rollover, or mundane daily activity, but, you know, there's this thing called the "hide button."  Utilize it instead of obsessing over someone's apparent over-use of the Facebook medium!  We don't know why that person feels compelled to tell/show us these things, so why judge them?  Maybe they're extremely lonely or bored.  Or, maybe they've had other people expressing interest in knowing every little detail about their child's growth and development.  Maybe they're adding all those pictures for their own record keeping purposes.  Maybe they're checking in at a restaurant or showing/telling us the food they're eating because they didn't want to forget what they ordered for next time, or they want you to know how awesome it is so you'll be inclined to try it one time...not necessarily because they're trying to show off their hot date, expensive meal, or envious lifestyle.  And, again, why the hell would it matter if they were?!  YOU make the choice to log in to FB to view...no one is forcing you to view their life.  I think we often forget that as both a viewer and poster, we have a choice to participate or not.

"Hi.  My name is Claire, and I'm a Facebook addict....from 7:30am - 5:30pm M-F."  Do you work an office job?  Are you stuck staring at a computer 40 hours a week?  Do you know the extent of misery and boredom that can result from this?  Look, I've worked both an office job and a non-office job.  When I was in a non-office position, I was never on FB.  I was constantly walking around, often engaged in menial conversation with random people, and rarely found a chance to sit down.  I do not prefer to check FB or search the net on my phone, so I was really MIA from the Facebook world for awhile (believe it!).  So, I get it, and I think the majority of FB critics and naysayers are these non-office job workers.  They don't get the monotony and feeling of entrapment an office job can provide.  Facebook is an office worker's portal to the outside world!  We can exchange small talk between our various tasks!  It's a great relief!  Also, this is not to say office workers are any less busy than non-office workers.  We just don't move all day long!  So, in the 15 minutes it takes for a non-office worker to walk to their car and drive to a meeting, and the 1 hour of talking you probably didn't do in that meeting, tacked onto the additional 15 minutes of driving back to the office, the desk employee has been sitting there, not talking to a soul, not burning 30 minutes driving to and from a meeting, doing their task that took 10 minutes...with the rest of that time to kill.  Some days the office worker is stupid busy, and some days the office worker day is so slow and boring they want to stab their eyes out!  Facebook is the best thing that happened for the office worker!  It helps keep me sane at my job and in touch with some outside communication.

Here are some more complaints I hear about Facebook:

"I don't get on FB because people's publicized wonderful lives make me depressed."  Well, whose fault is that?  Sounds like a personal problem to me, not the poster's problem.

"She posts all the time; she's starving for attention."  DING!  DING!  DING!  You got that right!  Someone's bound to be bored to death at work, a SAH mom starving for a break from toddler world and the endless amounts of chores to be done, or a lonely recent divorced person whose new routine of solitude is less than desirable.

"I can not stand to see any more baby pictures!"  Well, maybe you can't, but I can bet there's a load of family members who can.  Remember, a poster is not catering their every post to satisfy YOU.  Again, learn to "hide" or log off, people.

"I can't stand reading all these posts from pious people wanting to fight about religion and politics!"  This one is a personal pet peeve of mine.  I hate it!  BUT, I still understand that I choose to participate in Facebook, so I take the goods with the bads.  Again, learn to silently disagree, brush it off, chuckle, and keep scrolling.  If you feel the need to post a counter-argument comment to their post, then you are of no different status than that of the original poster.  

"Facebook feeds narcissism."  Again, sounds like a personal problem.  If you can not engage in Facebook without being able to control the limits of your ego, then maybe you shouldn't be on there.  And, should you waste energy obsessing over someone else's level of narcissism by the content of their posts?  No.  Again, learn to "hide" these people if it bothers you that much, or simply smile, give it a little chuckle, and keep scrolling down your feed.  Their narcissism shouldn't affect the level of your own narcissism.  And, it's not your job to police their self-esteem levels.

The bottom line: Is it really worth giving a shit about it all?  Is it one's purpose to censor the content on FB or feel the need to publicly announce to all frequent FB posters that one's FB content is sub-par and should be removed?  Why should/do you care?!  Why does it bother you so much?!  Sorry people, the invention of Facebook was a game changer in the communications world, and it's not going anywhere.  Facebook has offered some brilliant advantages and and advancements I, for one, am happy to partake in.  Practice some self-control (if you feel the need to), empathy for other's weak self-esteems, try to understand people's different personalities require different needs to be filled, don't feed or partake in posting practices you disagree with, realize the possible hypocrisy in your anti-FB statement before declaring it, and, most importantly, be aware that YOU have made the decision to participate in Facebook.  Until you decide to deactivate your account, you have a cog in this machine.  Start "hiding" people, and your FB life will be much more pleasant.

KOMBUCHA! Oooh-ah-ha-ha, Oooh-ah-ha-ha

Following suit with the fermented drinks, I'm moving on to kombucha in this post.  Every time I say "kombucha," I picture the scene from Finding Nemo around the aquarium volcano...

From what I've discovered, it seems more people know about kombucha than kefir.  This was not the case for me.  I heard about milk kefir first, and upon buying my milk kefir grains, I discovered there was a kombucha drink somewhere out there in the world.  I think I had possibly heard of it by glancing at the drinks in the health food store, but I had definitely never tried it.  I honestly don't know how my friend, and I started talking about kombucha one day, but I remember her saying something along the lines of, "Man, I LOVE kombucha!  It has this addicting, sour flavor, but you get used to it...and, it's expensive!"  The first kombucha I came across after talking to Kelly, I bought...and loved.

Normally, I stay away from flavored drinks because 1) I simply don't crave them, and 2) they're usually high in calorie, and I can think of many other ways I'd love to spend those calories.  At any rate, my friend started my researcher's wheels to spinning, and I discovered, like kefir, all the benefits kombucha had to offer.  Click HERE for a general kombucha overview and HERE for an addressed F.A.Q. to learn more.  I am, by no means, an expert on the nutritional profile or value of kombucha, but there's a load of information on the net regarding kombucha, so help yourself to the Google man!

Addressing my issues:
1) I don't crave flavored drinks

Kombucha isn't really like a flavored drink.  It's not very sweet, it's sour, it's carbonated, and it taste nothing like a traditional sweetened tea, juice, or soda.  A while back, I started drinking a raw apple cider drink, and kombucha tastes a lot like that.  It's pretty vinegary...but, that's also the reason people looooove it.  

2) Flavored drinks are usually high in calorie 

Kombucha is not!  You see, just like in kefir, the bacterias and yeasts feed on the sugar in the original liquid used to make the product.  By the time fermentation is done, the sugar amount is greatly reduced.  For example, a 16oz bottle of GT's Original Kombucha has 60 calories and 4g of sugar.  16oz of CocaCola, on the other hand, has 191 calories and 53 grams of sugar.  That's a great difference...I was shocked.  Plus, kombucha is filled with healthy goodness; coke is not...duh.

I was ready to start making kombucha as I also discovered this stuff was expensive at $3/bottle!  First, I needed a scoby.  In attempt to avoid having to purchase a scoby, I hit the interwebs like a desperate black-market hippie.  I asked around on natural food forums and freaked everyone out on Facebook.  Fortunately, a FB friend who knew nothing about scobies or kombucha provided me a link with how to GROW a scoby from an existing bottle of commercial raw kombucha...SCORE!  HERE'S the article.  Later, I discovered there were many different sources on how to grow a scoby, all with the same basic technique.  So, to growing a scoby I went!  Refer to the above mentioned articles for details on the process.  Here are a couple pictures of my progress in growing a scoby...

My first vessel was too large, and I knew it was going to take forever for a full scoby to form over the large surface area, so....

...I took those forming scoby bits and moved them to a smaller jar (quart size), and voila!  A fully formed scoby formed in about a week! *EXCITEMENT*

Now, that I had grown my little (3in diameter?) scoby, I was ready to try a gallon batch of kombucha!  Simply google "make kombucha," and a myriad of sites will come up.  It's a very simple process and pretty standard across the board.  Here are a few good links:

http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-kombucha-tea-at-home-173858
http://www.foodrenegade.com/how-to-brew-kombucha-double-fermentation-method/
http://www.culturesforhealth.com/kombucha

So, I brewed up a gallon of English Breakfast tea, added 1 cup of sugar, pour it into a gallon glass jar (seen as the "too large" vessel mentioned above), added the scoby and the kombucha liquid it was sitting in, covered it with a paper towel and rubber band, and...WAITED...very impatiently...peaking very often despite the suggestions to not...and, waited some more. 

After seven painful days of waiting, I finally reached kombucha!  Here are some pics of the growing scoby...

Scoby during batch 1

Scoby during batch 2

Scoby at end of batch 3

Yes, it is disgusting, but it's also super fun and cost-effective to make.  All three of my batches have been successful.  I start tasting it with a straw around day 5 or so, but you can also smell the distinctive vinegary kombucha essence when it's getting close to being ready.  I like to let mine ferment until it is much less sweet than when originally started, has that vinegary sour taste, AND when it has started carbonating on its own.  Once this has happened, I dispense the kombucha into bottles with juice (grape is my current fave) added in a 1:4 ration (juice being the lesser value) and cap off for a second fermentation to build carbonation (like kefir post) for 2-5 days.  FYI, I drank a bunch of clear bottled beer and bought a bottle capper!  I feel so cool...

Try it out!  It's fun!  PLEASE don't hesitate to e-mail me ("e-mail me" button on home blog page) with any questions you come across while brewing this awesome healthy drink!  I swear I don't bite ;-)

CO-Washing....get your mind out of the gutter!

Ever heard of "co-washing?"  No, I'm not talking about those risque showers involving you and your honey!  I'm talking about "Conditioner Only (CO)"  hair washing.  It's all the craze with the curly haired community and with the introduction of the Wen hair product line by Chaz Dean. Fortunately, I was given a bottle of Wen cleansing conditioner by a friend a couple years ago.  I was skeptical, but insanely curious, as well.  Well, I tried it, loved it, wanted it, and then....."Whoa Betsy, it's expensive!"  After I went through my complimentary bottle from my friend, I discontinued using it due to Wen's price and my current state of excess funds at the time.

Being the research dork I am, and having the "if I can buy it, I should be able to make it" mind set, I got to researching and came across the "CO Washing" community and their critiques of the Wen hair system.  Basically, they were claiming the Wen system to be not thaaaat much different than co-washing with select very inexpensive OTC conditioners.  And, doubly bad ass, being the poor person I am, I was already using one of the top cheap brands recommended for co-washing...SCORE!

CO-washing seems to be heavily marketed in the Black female community due to their hair texture type.  On the other hand, Wen advertises their product as being acceptable for ALL hair types.  Use your own judgement; if you like it, do it!  Also, if you want to be more "legit" with choosing a co-washing product, there are actual products advertised as being "cleansing conditioners," but you will also pay for a "cleansing conditioner."

So, I have officially been co-washing with Suave's cheap ass Coconut conditioner and Suave's almost-as-cheap Rosemary Mint conditioner for a full week, and the verdict is...I love it!  Having used Wen in the past, I knew what to expect and how to properly co-wash hair, so I was not in full freak-out mode upon trying it out for the first time.  My hair is totally clean!  I will admit, I think co-washing long hair could be frustrating.  I can foresee a bunch of tangling in the longer tresses and and an insane amount of product use with long hair, but I wouldn't know for sure as I have a super short pixie cut.

Essentially, you're primarily cleaning the hair closest to the scalp.  For me, that's all my hair!  The process:  First, completely wet your hair.  Then apply a very liberal amount of conditioner to your scalp and vigorously massage into the scalp and hair.  Let sit while you bathe the rest of your body.  Then, add a splash of water to your conditioner-drenched hair, and begin working up a slight lather.  Finally, rinse clean!

Give it a shot!  Google them shits!  See what you think.  Let me know how it goes!

Here's a snippet on how to choose a co-washing conditioner.  Google "conditioner only washing" or "co-washing" for more info.

The Mad Scientist...Fermented!

I've gone mad!  MAD, I tell you!  At least that's what my friends and family tell me.  I can admit I have an addictive personality.  Thankfully, this trait has never left me crippled in the midst of drug or alcohol abuse, but I do often find myself taken prisoner by the excitement of learning a new craft or study.  I love to learn, I love to try, and I love to master...until I completely wear myself out.  So, fermented drinks have become my recent obsession!

Kefir, kombucha, beer, wine, etc.  I know you all know about beer and wine, some probably know about kombucha, and maybe a few of you have heard of kefir.  I observed S make beer once, and it was a cool process, but also a rather large and lengthy feat.  I'll save beer and wine making for another day.  As for now, I'm obsessed with Kefir and Kombucha...

MILK KEFIR:
Right before I moved back to NB a little over 6 months ago, I bought some milk kefir grains from Cultures for Health.  I honestly don't remember how I became exposed to and curious about milk kefir; there have been way too many Google searches and poo-obsessed conversations since that initial moment of awareness.  Milk kefir is much like a loose yogurt in consistency with a larger probiotic profile. Click HERE to read more about milk kefir.  One can buy milk kefir products at Kroger, HEB, and your local health food store.  So, in usual fashion with me and my culinary interests, I immediately started researching how I could begin making milk kefir.  If it can be bought, I WILL learn how to make it.  So, I put on my mad scientist coat and began researching and buying tools.

Honestly, I don't feel like writing out the process to making milk kefir, but below is a great video from Cultures For Health on how to make milk kefir.  Once you obtain milk kefir grains from a friend or rehydrate bought kefir grains, making milk kefir is really simple.  Add kefir grains to milk and wait.  Booya.  Milk kefir can be flavored, consumed alone, added to smoothies, and a multitude of other applications.  I added a couple of my own photos below the video.

CC tips and pointers:  milk kefir grains love whole milk, raw milk (if you can find it), and NOT organic milk.  I also strain my final product straight into the blender to whip it up to eliminate any separated parts.

 (some of my own photos)

WATER KEFIR:

After milk kefir, and a recent switch to veganism for a bit, I got curious about water kefir!  Click HERE to read more about water kefir, and buy water kefir grains HERE.  Water kefir is great for those avoiding dairy. It can actually yield a product very similar to a carbonated natural soda.  Fun, right?!  Making water kefir was very frustrating to me when I first started as it was hard for me to tell when it was "ready," and what to expect, and why I wasn't getting carbonation.  The information out there on water kefir was not always consistent and/or thorough.  But, I recently came across this GREAT video which I think it covers most of the questions I had and mistakes I was making when I first started.  I've had the best luck with making coconut water kefir, and it gets so fizzy!  Just don't forget to alternate batches with sugar water so your kefir babies stay well fed.  Check out this video and blog post on how to make water kefir...

CC tips and pointers:  don't be discouraged by the first ferment!  It won't be fizzy or look much different.  Coconut water kefir makes the most fizzy product, and the grains prefer fresh non-pasteurized juice over pasteurized.  Dried fruits are a good addition, as well.  Air tight bottles are key; I like to use recycled Synergy kombucha bottles. 

  

 (some of my own photos)

(I write the start day on my bottles with a dry-erase marker)

There are many websites loaded with information and blogs of people who are "kefiring."  Cultures For Health is a great informative website.  Also, check out youtube if you're a visual person.  And, simply experiment with what works for you and your environment.  You can always bring your questions to me, and I'll answer them if I can, or I'll lead you in the direction of where you can find an answer.  These little kefir babies are pretty resilient little suckers.  Just keep 'em fed, and you'll be fine.  Have fun!  Kombucha tails up next...

Keep it fizzy,
CC

December Blog Dare: Fail

As you've noticed, I failed on my commitment to my December Blog Dare.  I figured I would simply because I was in Colorado for ten days in December.  I'm not stressed about it, but I would like to continue writing on some of the Blog Dare's writing prompts.  Here goes...

Thursday December 27th's prompt: An overused phrase.

Oh, man.  This one's an easy rant for me, but, first, let me start with a preface.  Do you guys remember when "awesome" was the key word used in a religious context?  It was about 10-12 years ago and very widely used in the non-denominational/fundamentalist Christian scene.  FCA, Campus Crusade, youth group gatherings, etc....everything was "AWESOME!"  God was an awesome God, life was awesome, god's work was awesome, fellowship was awesome, the Holy Spirit was performing awesome feats, the pastor's service was awesome....it was all AWESOME!  Ugh, it drove me craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy!  So much so that I have had a bad taste in my mouth regarding this grouping of phonetic sounds ever since.  As a result, I rarely say it, and I rarely use it in a religious setting.  I'll find any equivalent or more specific synonym to use in its place.

Well, that community wore down "awesome," and they have adopted "blessed."  AHHHHHH, everyone is so f#@%ing BLESSED, now!  They're blessed with family, they're blessed with their job, they're blessed with their spouse, the restaurant is blessed with good chefs, they're blessed with the weather (whether it be snow, rain, sun, or wind), they're blessed for being able to buy the new car they just got, they're blessed with vacation time, they're blessed with the new Pet Smart that came to town, their ipod was such a blessing on their road trip, he was blessed with hot cocoa on the cold wintry day, God blessed them with answered prayers and good fortune.  Blessed, I tell you....BLESSED!  I want to puke every time I hear the word.  I can go to certain people's pages on Facebook and find the word "blessed" in almost every post.  Bleh.

Here's the deal.  I'm not some horrible person who thinks God is not awesome or who believes we can't be blessed with fortunate circumstances and loving people.  The awesome fad was more of an annoyance due to it repetitive and blatant overuse, but blessed does start to bother me in a contextual way.  The word blessed is loaded with arrogance, in my opinion.  Why have you been "blessed by God" with a healthy newborn baby but the new mother holding her Down Syndrome baby was not blessed by God?  Why were you blessed with good fortune and others weren't?  Why were you chosen over the other person?

The whole topic just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  I hate when a word's richness becomes watered down by misuse and redundancy.  The word has died; it will never have the same affect on me it once did.

2013...Whatcha got?!

Happy New Year!  Whomp, whomp, whoooomp.  I'm not really "in" to the New Year as states the "January start" calendar.  For me, it seems like the new year occurs by the school calendar year or revolves around one's birthday.  In fact, these approaching months of January, February, March, and April are hands-down my least favorite months.  For whatever reason, bad shit and dramatic changes happen during this time.  The weather is weird, I'm weird, and there are no good holidays in the near future.  I'm depressed fall has come and gone and the real holidays are over.  Every time I reminisce about this time of year in years past, I get the creeps.  I can't really explain it, but it just is what it is.

I've never been a resolution maker.  I've talked about this before.  Resolution making is a personality type thing, and it doesn't fit mine.  I'm constantly soul searching, being introspective, and trying to "fix" myself.  So much so that it drives me to minor insanity.  I actually wish I was only bombarded with these thoughts once a year on January 1st!  What a relief that would be!  But, as a result of feeling eternally suffocated with the self-dissecting ramblings of my overly critical inner thoughts, I arise to acting on those concerns at various times throughout the year.  One of these moments of action came during my move from Little D back to NB.    I've been calling it my early New Year's Resolutions, but I'd like to think it's more of a realization of personal growth than a resolution. 

I've been working on the following three ideas:

1. Be way less judgmental.  If there is anything I've learned in the past 30 years, it's that I could have found myself, or find myself in the future, in the same situation as almost anyone one I've previously criticized or place judgment upon. An unwed mother?  Yep, I've been in the running for that possibility.  A mother with two different baby-dadies?  Yep, I most certainly could have been her.  Living with your parents after college graduation?  Been there!  Stayed with a man who didn't love you?  Mmmhmmmm.  Switched careers multiple times?  I think I'm making that one a goal!  Gotten fat?  Fallen in love with the "wrong" man?  Adultery?  Gone nutso?  "Too quick" engagements?  Career fail?  Family issues?  Divorce?  Starting from scratch?  And the list goes on!  I've learned as I grow older I could certainly be any one of these stereotypes, and it doesn't necessarily mean you are a bad, crazy, immoral, unhealthy, selfish, etc. person.  Sometimes luck and circumstance are the only factors that have separated me from some of these stereotypes, but, yet, I may have been deemed "ok" while the other has been negatively labeled.  My golden rule: put yourself in the other person's shoes.
2. There is NO set right way to live life.  This has been a biggie for me, and I hate it.  I want to adhere to this philosophy so bad, but I feel restrained by the pressures of "social norms" and parental conditioning.  I hate social norms, and I'm so mad they exist!  I'm so angry I've been conditioned to believe in them.  I'm so mad our society has created these ridiculous monetary "standards" one must strive to achieve or, as result, fear being labeled as lazy, ignorant, trash.  "Struggling" used to mean worrying about putting food on the table.  Now, it means anything less than driving a luxury car.  I want simple and humble life to return.  I want the business-degree jobs to be viewed as equal to those of the tradesman, teacher, fireman, etc.  I want it to be viewed as "ok" or "normal" to not be able to afford to travel to Europe, own a home, or live paycheck to paycheck.
   
   Maybe you don't have to be married to have a child?  Maybe you can make a school bus your homestead.  Why can't it be accepted as suitable for a mom to work and a dad to stay at home with the kids and NOT be labeled as deadbeat husband?  Why can't one choose to work a low paying retail or service industry job over being a lawyer or doctor?  Why can't a woman choose to not marry, be single her whole life, and not be labeled a lesbian?  Can a hippie eater be a republican?  Can a successful business man vote left?  I don't have answers to these questions, and, honestly, NO ONE does.  Which leads me to my third resolution...
3. BE HAPPY!  Stop giving a shit about what would make your parents, grandparents, friends, and bosses happy; start making YOU happy!  Don't marry a man because he's the man you're "supposed" to marry; marry the one you WANT to marry because he makes you happy, and you two have the same outlook on life.  Don't choose a career path because you know it would make your parents happy; choose the career YOU want that you believe will fullfill your wants and needs.  Hang out with whatever social sub-culture you like!  Don't hesitate from wearing a particular outfit because it may be considered out of style; wear whatever the hell you want to wear!  We didn't "grow up" to stay children.  It's time to live your own life, not the life someone's laid out for you.
   
   Bottom line:  Be happy, be free, be financially independent (whatever salary terms you choose to meet),  accept the consequences of your decisions and then move on, and be a responsible and loving adult to your babies.  Life's too short to worry about the petty shit.  We will succeed, and we will fail, but at least we'll be living and learning.

"We must let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

-Joseph Campbell-

December Blog Dare: Day 12

Day 12:  What I want new mothers to know...

Dear New Mamas,

Don't your babies grow up to be coooooooooowbooooooooooys.

Sincerely, 

The inexperienced CC Bloom

December Blog Dare: Day 11

Day 11:  I seem to be collecting...

...the LBs!  Pounds!  Weight!  Cellulite!  Back Fat!  Uuuuuuggggghhhh.

Yep, this move back to NB has resulted in me putting on some weight!  I'm not one to freak out about my weight.  I mean, I've never been a skinny-minny in any way, but I am usually half decent about keeping my weight "in check."  It's easy for me to gain weight.  I'm not one of those fortunate people who can eat fast food three times a day and not gain a pound.  Plus, I cook and BAKE!  Got a major sweet tooth, here.  I'll sacrifice my figure somewhat for my cooking/baking passion.  Like I said, I'm not striving for a models body, but a comfortable body.

The little big NB is the partyingest town ever!  People are "celebrating" something all week long no matter their age.  We have a "fest" for everything.  It's a super fun town, and I LOVE that about NB, but it sure makes it easy to gain some extra padding.  I'm actually not too upset about the extra padding I've gained because I know it represents happiness, love, friends, and a more comfortable financial life.  As much as I cringe to feel a little more snug in my clothes, I'm thankful for it, as well.  Not that my life in Little D was bad in any way, but parts of my happiness were stifled by my environment and loneliness during that time.  So, I sort of view my few extra pound as a few extra hugs, nights with friends, and meals out, which are all things I wasn't in surplus of in Denton.

I'll embrace the tighter pants for now!  Cheers to love and padding!

CC has bloomed...literally.

December Blog Dare: Day 10

Day 10:  The old piece of clothing I just can't part with...

For those of you who know me know how hard it was for me to part from the nasty black wind shorts, but I finally did a few months ago.  In their place, I bought some new running shorts, and they are equally amazing, if not better.  They are now an item I will not be able to part with, but they're not "old," so I don't feel like I can count those.  When I find clothes I love, I loooooooooooove them and do not part from them as long as possible.  I'm the comfort queen.  In fact, I think I can claim having a full on addiction to comfort.  I mean, come on, when you come home from work for your lunch break and feel it necessary to change into running shorts for that brief hour, you know you have a problem.

Just for a nostalgic tear, here are the old/new shorts

Since we're going with old clothing, here, I can honestly say I'd have a super hard time parting with my sailor button jeans.  I've had them forever.  I love them.  They grow with me (literally).  I love that their flair leg and high waist.  Yes, I hate low riding pants...I've got high hips!  I love that they don't have a place for a belt.  I love that they have a shape for people with no hips.  They've got character; they're not your normal looking pair of jeans, AND they're comfy!  I pretty much avoid wearing jeans at all costs, but sometimes I can't avoid situations requiring the torturous denim and non-eslastic waistbands.

One day, I'll have to part with these jeans, and that day will be too soon.  They even have a blue permanent marker stain on the front leg, and I still continue to wear them.  They're the next "nasty black wind shorts."

This is the best pics of the jeans I could find

My life won't be the same without you, jeans,
CC

December Blog Dare: Day 9

Day 9:  I was certain I would disappoint...

...a lot of people when I was OCD crazy years back.  I disappointed my parents the most, but they're definitely not the only ones.  You know, I've never taken a moment to write down an apology to all those affected by my OCD craziness.  I'd like to do that now.

Mom & Dad-  Seriously, there's too much to apologize for, but I'll try.  I'm sorry I put you both through hell when I was a mute in 7th grade.  I'm sorry I was accepted to and withdrew from about three different colleges two weeks before school started.  I'm sorry for taking two separate 1.5 hour long baths every day for months; but, seriously, I needed that break from my OCD world, and it was the only way I could get it.  I'm sorry for making you cater to all my OCD needs, like not having the TV or radio on for as much as you would allow me.  Thank you for letting me turn bottles, flip magazines over, live in a super dark dog-hair-infested cave with all my clothes folded in stacks on the floor, drive alternate routes miles out of the way of our destination, and for not letting me return Fred once we got him.  I'm sorry for being mean to you and Dad.  I only did it out of OCD necessity and as a coping mechanism.  I'm sorry for making you cry over and over and over again.  I'm sorry for not making a lick of sense most of the time.  I'm sorry for the immense amount of worry I caused you both.

Dad, I'm sorry for frustrating the ever living hell out of you.  I know you didn't understand what I was going through, and you still don't understand what I was going through, but you blindly trucked along by my side through that whole journey, and it meant the world to me.  I know you wanted to "fix" me, but nothing you tried worked.  I know I cost you a bunch of money in therapy and mistakes during that time, and I'm greatly sorry for that.

I'm sorry, Mom and Betzy, I drove all the way to CO for a summer job and then made y'all pick me up in Sante Fe in the midst of a panic attack.  Thanks for the ambien, Betzy ;-).  I'm sorry I ruined y'all's trip.

And, on that note, I'm sorry Lake City, CO shop owner I walked out on you and your job when you put your faith in this young Texan girl you had never met.  That was shitty of me, but I was scared.  I should have at least told you I was bailing.

Dr. B, I'm sorry for being a bad patient which resulted in you dropping me a couple times.  I know it took me a while to be cooperative, and you were super patient with me.  It was extremely hard for me to trust putting my life in someone else's hands, but you did a fine job once I handed it over.  I will greatly appreciate you FOREVER.  You saved my life.

Fred, I'm sorry for keeping you locked in that dark ass cave with me for months!  You were the only person I fully allowed into my life at that time.  I sang to you, talked to you, slept with you, played with you...you  were the only person I trusted.  I owe you my life, little fur man.  I love you.

Tim Huchton, it still bothers me to this day I bailed on you at camp.  You knew I would, too.  I know you didn't know how sick I was at that time, and I led you to believe I was ok.  I embarrassed you to your supervisors, and I let the rest of the staff down when I bailed.  I am sincerely sorry for shitting on the faith you put in me...sincerely.

Clay and Justin, I apologize to you guys for bailing on our Colorado trip that morning our senior (?) year.  That bail was the first of many to mark the beginning of what was to come.  You two continued to be dear friends to me, and I appreciate your patience through my nuttiness.

And, to all my friends who tried to call me, help out, and/or simply be an empathetic shoulder to lean on, I'm sorry I ignored and  ran from you.  I was scared.  You didn't fit my OCD control zone at the time.  You showed me unconditional love in a time when I was a bad friend.  I will never forget the compassion you guys gave me and the patience and faith you had in our friendship.  Thank you.

My apologies,
CC