Blog Challenge: Day 11

What's the one thing you would never change about yourself?

I can find an honest connection in almost every person I meet. And, it's a genuine connection.  It doesn't necessarily mean we're soul mates, or destined lovers, or future BFF.  It simply means we're human, and deep down, we're the same, vulnerable, caring human being.  I can "get" what you're going through...despite your job, race, sexual orientation, religious preference, age, etc.  And, if it's a situation I haven't experienced, I can put myself in a hypothetical situation and try to understand in a totally non-judgmental way what you're going through.  I think people feel I provide an emotional safe haven for them, which I hope is true.  That connection I find with people causes them to feel comfortable and honest.  People can "unload" on me and share their dark fears and illogical thoughts.  I feel truly fortunate to be trusted to bear their emotional weight because I completely understand what it's like to be suffocated by your own baggage.

Even when I'm trying to be a badass and say I don't, I do truly care..to a degree of fault, even.  I care about the comfort level of that unknown person left out at the party as much as I care about my best friend's battle with severe depression.  I want those people to know they're never alone.  I know I will continue to connect with people the rest of my life, and my friendships are so rich as a result.

Paleo/GF "One Minute Muffin"

I'm a bread freak.  Nothing makes me happier than a glass of red wine and some chewy, crusty, artisan bread.  Well, that becomes a problem when I'm eating trying to eat grain free.

Back during my first go around with Gluten Free, I hunted high and low for a GF bread, and I finally found one that was pretty good....but pretty void of good ingredients.  It wasn't grain free, either.  So, back to the interwebs I went in search for a healthy, grain free bread alternative, and I came across this magic "one minute muffin."  I gave the first recipe I came across a go, and was pleasantly surprised!  But, in usually CiCi fashion, I knew I could tweak it to make it just a little bit better.  This is by-far the closest "bread" recipe I've come across, and it just so happens to be ridiculously easy!

I love this "bread" option!  Here's why:

• it contains good wholesome ingredients
• it makes a single serving (which is good for this single gal)
• it's FAST
• it's EASY
• you don't waste ingredients testing out a full bread loaf recipe only to have it fail (expensive!)
• the taste is pretty darn good, and the texture is actually light and fluffy!

The one downside of this bread is only for those who are microwave haters.  For me, I don't sweat it.  I've got bigger worries...like how I can finally enjoy a freakin' sandwich again!!!  The microwave is actually key to this recipe because it creates an awesome steamy atmosphere.

CiCi's Paleo/GF "One Minute Muffin" Bread
(modified from this recipe, which is good, as well, but includes flax, which some prefer to avoid)

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup almond flour (finely ground!)
• 1 Tbs. Psyllium Husk powder (can be found at many grocery stores in fiber section and at Natural Foods stores)
• pinch of kosher/sea salt
• 1/2 tsp. baking powder (could probably reduce to a 1/4 tsp)
• 1 egg
• 1 Tbs. water
• 1 tsp. coconut oil/olive oil/ghee...a good fat!

Directions:

Lightly oil/spray a ramekin (preferably shallow and wide) or wide base bowl (see mine below).  Combine and thoroughly mix dry ingredients in a small bowl.  Set aside.  Whisk egg, water, and oil together in another small bowl.  Add egg mixture to the dry ingredients.  Mix until just incorporated; add to sprayed bowl/ramekin.

According to my microwave, microwave uncovered on HIGH for 1 min. 30 sec.  Your microwave may be stronger than mine and require less time.

Let cool for a minute in the bowl, then run a knife along the edge and invert onto cooling rack.  After cooling for a bit, I take a sharp knife and split mine.  I always toast mine before eating, but you certainly don't have to.

(base of bowl is about 4in. in diameter)

Blog Challenge: Day 9

Describe the best day of your life to date

These kind of topics always make me gag a bit.  Look, I'm not married nor have I birthed a child; therefore, I have no single monumental "best" day of my life.  I've had MANY awesome moments and days, but "best" is a hard order to fill!  And, to choose just one day out of my whole life?!  Ain't gonna happen.

Next!

Paleo/GF/Refined Sugar Free...Coconut Flour Banana Muffins

As an avid baker, I'll be the first to admit that gluten free/grain free baked goods will never beat the texture of its "traditional" wheat predecessor.  BUT, that doesn't mean GF baked goods have to be horrible; it just means I have to work extra hard in finding those "diamond in the rough" recipes for you...you're welcome. ;-)

I've been playing around with the Paleo food lifestyle for the past week or so, and so far so good.  I'm not going to go in to any Paleo dogma right now as 1) I'm still not well versed in it, and 2) I'm soooo over debating ANYTHING right now, but I did come across this wholesome and easy recipe the other day I felt needed sharing.

If you're following a gluten free (GF) or Paleo lifestyle, give these banana muffins a go.  They are STUPID EASY, tasty, very moist, wholesome, refined sugar free, and grain free.  The recipe below is almost an exact replicate of this recipe, except I've halved it (yields 6 muffins), omitted the nutmeg suggestion as I thought it did NOT compliment the flavor, and added a touch of honey as I needed them a little sweeter.  Did I mention those are stupid easy?!?!?!  Here we go...

GF/Paleo Banana Muffins
(yields 6 or 7 muffins)

(mine were a little darker than this picture portrays)

Ingredients:

• 2 ripe bananas*
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 cup natural nut butter (almond, peanut, macademia, cashew...whatevs)
• 1 Tbs. coconut oil
• 1 Tbs. raw honey
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• good pinch of kosher or sea salt (about an 1/8 tsp.)
• 1/4 cup coconut flour* 
• 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. cinnamon (optional- add to flour mixture)

* with the addition of the honey and depending on banana size, you may find you want to add another teaspoon or two of coconut flour due to the extra moisture.  Coconut flour is a dense, lumpy flour, so all of our measurements will be slightly different, and your 1/4 cup measurement may already have the extra teaspoon mine may have lacked.  Just play with it if you feel your muffins need more structure.

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350F

Sift together coconut flour, baking soda and powder.

Add the remaining ingredients (first 7 in list above) in a blender.  Blend until it's completely homogeneous and looks like smoothie consistency.  While blender is still running (go to a lower setting), gradually add the flour mixture.  It will need some help blending as it thickens fast; use a spoon or flat spatula to help it along).  It should look like this:

Pour mixture evenly into 6, possibly 7, paper lined muffin cups.  Bake for appx. 20 min at 350F.  Cool for a bit in the pan, and then move muffins to a cooling rack.  They will contract some as most GF baked goods do.

Blog Challenge: Day 8

Describe "the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" of yourself.

I'm listing my "good" as the last one on purpose...

2.  The Bad:  I'm a bossy know-it-all.  It seems like I've talked about this so often lately, but it's the truth.  The reason I'm a know-it-all is because I'm a natural researcher, prideful, and completely obsessive compulsive.  As soon as I come across something on which I'm naive or ignorant, I'm researching it as fast as I can.  I love learning...my Leo personality has just taken it to the next level of annoyance.

On the positive side, I think I've humbled through the years to where I'm able to somewhat subdue this annoying "back seat driver" trait of mine.  You see, I am my folks' spawn...and they're know-it-alls, too, so, it comes naturally to me.  You should see us all in the kitchen together!  It's a beautiful, chaotic, egotistical mess!  No lie!  We're not faux know-it-alls, either! <--- I'm pretty sure that was me justifying my "bad" as a "good."  See?!  Prideful, prideful, prideful....tisk, tisk, tisk.  I swear, I'm working on it.

3.  The Ugly:  I am a coward fueled by low self-esteem.  Yep, you heard me right.  Only my closest friends probably know about this side of me as I appear to have a very high self-esteem.  That's how it works, though.  Sure, I'm very confident in a few areas, but I'm also very fragile in many others.  One small, quick phrase with no ill intentions meant can be read falsely by me causing me to be shattered and shut down.  Some of the routine self-critical thoughts that go through my head are:

• I'm not worthy of being occupationally successful because it's known I'm a flake.
• I'll never be able to hold down a man because I'm not conventionally feminine or sexy enough; it's just a matter of time before they leave me seeking out those attributes in another woman.
• I shouldn't aspire to change career paths because I'd never be able to commit to it.
• I can't be a mother because I'll automatically turn into a neurotic, control-freak bitch both my husband and kids will hate.
• So-and-so didn't text/call me back, or said that to me, because they hate me.  Why did I ever think they be interested in hanging out with me?
• I can't trust any of my impulses because they must be fueled by my history with Pure-O OCD.
• I could never make a big out-of-state move because everyone knows I'll just come crawling back with my tail between my legs.
• I'll never be pretty enough, smart enough, adult enough, fun enough, cool enough, sexy enough, and so on.  Whatever the situation yields...

As a result, I often feel inadequate, stunted, trapped, and not taken seriously, which causes me to shut down and be a coward.  I absolutely know these bogus feelings and reactions are false, which leads me to...  

1.  The Good:  I'm very honest with myself and self-reflective which helps conceal and control "the bad" and "the ugly."  I know I can be annoying and overbearing as a know-it-all, and I know all these crazy negative thoughts running through my head are unjustified and self-induced.  I'm constantly working on subduing my instinctual reaction to fly in and take over a situation as a know-it-all would.  I'm working on being a better conversationalist so that I listen as much as I contribute.  I'm working on accepting someone's differing approach to a situation as not being inadequate to my approach since I think I know "the best" approach.  I know all those bulleted statements above are a bunch of shit and should not define my life.  I'm working on accepting MY life and whatever it may entail as opposed to the "expected" life I'm supposed to live.  I'm getting better at knowing when I'm assessing a reaction or situation through the lenses of an unjustifiably scared, unconfident woman and kicking my own ass for doing so.  I'm learning to accept my female "conventional inadequacies" as a being a standard for some, but definitely not all.  I'm learning it's ok to go with my gut, now; it's probably not the OCD talking.  I'm learning to not give a shit what people think or expect of me.  I'm learning it's ok to be happy in the life I'm choosing to create.

You know, it's a process, but as long as we're open to putting our pride aside and being honest with ourselves through a little introspection, it's amazing the well-rounded, healthy human beings we can become.  

Blog Challenge: Day 7

Recommend a book for us to read.  Why do you think it's important?

The most mind-blowing and influential class I took in college was Philosophy of Religion.  It changed my life.  I had never thought about these heavy topics in such a dissected, educated, and rational way.  Most people would think a Philosophy of Religion course's purpose would be to debunk all religious theory, the notion of a god, blatantly support Atheism, and so on, but that was not the case.  This book/class actually helped bring me a lot of peace to all those troubling, and often contradictory, religious subjects and theories that are liberally tossed around so carelessly in both casual conversation and heavy debate.  Check out the Table of Contents I included...

I think everyone should read this book so they don't appear so damn ignorant when arguing these heavy religious topics...HAHAHA!

Blow your mind.  Find peace.  Educate yourself by researching both sides of the coin.  Question.  Put on your critical thinking hat.  Be humbled.  Challenge yourself.  Discover where you feel comfortable.

(I added my feet in there for dramatic effect) 

Blog Challenge: Day 6

What's something you've always wanted to do but have not?  

And, why?

1.  Move to Colorado or New Mexico.  Why not?  Well, I'm sure fear plays a major part in this.  That's a big move!  I also don't think I'm unhappy enough here to make the move out there.  I like my life, I like my town, I like my job, I like my friends, and I love being in close distance to my family where weekend trips are possible.  It's a lot to gamble for the exchange of beautiful scenery.  I guess I'm too lazy, too.  Moving is a lot of work!

2.  Start my own business.  Why not?  I'm scared!  I'm not a risk taker.  Honestly, I don't think anyone in my family is.  Just a big puss running around the "what if"s my whole life.

3.  Travel abroad.  Why not?  Money.  To this day, I still do not understand how so many of my peers have afforded to travel, and I have not.  Is everyone putting this stuff on credit cards, or what?!

4.  Get a breast reduction!!!!!!!!!!!!  HAHAHAHA!  No, but really....

Blog Challenge: Day 5

If you could have dinner with any five people, who would they be?

I really don't get into questions like this.  I'm not the kind of person who desires to meet celebrities or public figures, but here's my best shot.  Oh, surprise, they're almost all musicians.

1. Jeff Tweedy:  Simply put, I think he's a musical genius.  He's probably a cool ass dude, too. 
2. Ryan Adams: (leave Mandy at home):  Another musician I want to have babies with.  I mostly admire his lyrical talent.
3. Brad Pitt:  So I could witness the tangible definition of flawless physical beauty.  I have a feeling he's a cool dude, too.
4. Gillian Welch:  My main female musician inspiration.
5. Neil Young:  The best...

That was boring.  Next!

Blog Challenge: Day 4

I have some catching up to do!

4.  What's your favorite childhood memory?

I had this neighborhood friend, Jessica.  We were besties from as far back as I can remember.  In fact, the relationship is probably better coined as adolescent "mentor-mentee"...you know, because I was so wise at 8 years old.  Jessica grew up directly across the street from me; she was a few years younger than me.  She was my neighborhood partner-in-crime, wild child, get-her-to-do-anything, faux student of mine, BFF.  I told Jessica about Santa Clause not being real, the birds and the bees, and whatever else a little know-it-all like myself felt needed educating upon.

So, this one day, Jessica and I were sitting in her front lawn playing with our "sugar babies."  (FYI, sugar babies were a big deal growing up in Dallas at the time.  This site has some good pictures of what a sugar baby is.  Basically, they were hand-painted porcelain heads and hands with a bean-bag type body.  They were pretty realistic in look and feel.)  Being the know-it-all I've always been, I was "mentoring" my little student on the subject of breast feeding...what it was, how to do it, why you do it, and so on.  Jessica was way in to it, as I was blowing her mind at that moment.  Remember, during this lesson we were chillin' in some lawn chairs on her front lawn, and, naturally, an older couple on their evening walk approached us.  As any sweet woman would, she slows her pace and says to us, "Well, good evening, girls...what are you two up to?  Playing with your baby dolls?"  Low and behold, the naive Jessica screams across the street to the woman, "YEAH!  WE'RE BREAST-FEEDING OUR BABIES RIGHT NOW!"  Instantly, I realized I forgot to tell Jessica we should probably keep this little bit of new knowledge to ourselves for a few years!   Needless to say, both the older woman AND I were stunned by shock, and I was mortified.  Hahaha, I can't even remember what her reply was...

See?!?!?  I guess my obsession with reproductive science has been around since the beginning!  Good thing I couldn't get my hands on one of these dolls at the time!!!  Poor Jessica...

Blog Challenge: Day 3

3. Tell about an article of clothing you're deeply attached to....

There they are.  The transition from the first pair of infamous shorts onto the next, and current, pair...the grey ones.  Let me put it this way; I am obsessed with comfort.  No...no, really...I don't think you understand the extent of obsession I'm referring to, here.  Obsession, as in I have two identical pair (I should have more) so I always have a pair available to wear.  Obsession, as in I'm unbuttoning my pants as I walk into my house during my lunch break so I can wear "the shorts" for that measly 40 min. break.  Obsession, as in I dedicate one pair as the "sweat pair" and one as the "lounging pair" in between each wash cycle.  Yes, I will literally go walking/biking in the "sweat pair" and immediately change into the "lounging pair" upon my return and cool down.  Obsession, as in I will wear these shorts OUT in PUBLIC with a nice shirt to accompany them, and I think I'm dressed up.  Obsession, as in I panic thinking about just what exactly I will wear to cover my junk for the 2-3 hours I won't have access to my shorts while they're washing/drying!  Obsession, as in you can see how long and rough I wore my first pair of "favorite shorts."

EVERYONE knows about "the shorts."

Thank God for "yoga-top" anything...they're my go-to back-ups when the shorts are down.